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Showing posts with the label relationship

Show, Don’t Tell

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“A frail grasp on the big picture…” Now what the hell does that mean??  First time I heard this particular group of words strung together was in song by the band, The Eagles.      The song talks about the local bar… Good ol' boys down at the bar Peanuts and politics They think they know it all About relationships… You don't have the slightest notion what long-term love is all about All your romantic liaisons don't deal with eternal questions like: "Who left the cap off the” freaking” toothpaste?" "Whose turn to take the garbage out?" And about morals…. All our troubles will be resolved We hold faith above all Unless there's money or sex involved This song is brutally honest and makes complete sense.  I’ll tell you why… I am currently teaching writing to college students at the local Community College.  It’s English 100 and English 112.  I found that in the past few weeks I’ve been stressing to my students a very old adage in w

Forget “It” & The Ground Hog & Try To Balance

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“ I want it all !” Those four words are engrained in the foundation of the American Dream.  Anyone can have it (whatever “it” is) as long as their willing to work for it.  So, we 20somethings, trudge through school in hopes of finding “it”.  We secure a job in able to work at achieving “it.”  We focus on “it” and we make it our goal, our passion, our dream.   The irony is, that those people who seem most “together,” the ones that are certain they’re going to find “it”, can end up the most lost.  Those people who appear to know the program, the ones that are “on the right track” from the start… they are the ones who risk being farthest from “it.”   I can make this general statement with confidence because I was one of those people.   Smart, driven, confident and determined—all of which sounds good on paper, but can actually be a lethal combination.   When you have these qualities and you chose to focus on the wrong thing; or if you find yourself pursuing the wrong “it”, well then you

“Seeing the Good” just might screw you

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This week, People magazine featured Elin Nordegren (Tiger Wood’s Ex-Wife) as its cover story. It is the first time she has spoken out since the ordeal of her husband publically slutting himself around with umpteen women behind her back. Her personal marital problem is only a feature story because her husband is the highest paid athlete in the world and his list of indiscretions became public. At the core, it’s just a run-of-the mill story of a slime-ball and his and laundry list of infidelities. To me this isn’t really “breaking news,” but as I paged through the article I noticed a quote Elin gave which People Magazine highlighted in a sidebar. This quote caught my attention. Elin says…. “I always believe the best of people, and when you do that, you’re going to be really screwed sometimes.” I loved this quote, it’s raw and honest, but most of all, it’s true. We find ourselves reciting the homage “See the good in people,” but what we forget is that sometimes...even when we see

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!

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I love to read and a few weeks ago a friend of mine gave me a bag of books to look through. “I read them all, so you can keep what you want,” she said. Honestly, it was like Christmas morning! The start of the summer and a whole new bag of books to read. I could hear the beach calling my name. Among the mystery murder novels and cheesy romance books was one by comedian Steve Harvey called “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” I laughed out loud at the title and began to page through the book. It looked like an “easy-read” so I started scanning the chapters. The book started out with “What Drives Men” a section where Harvey explains, first things first… immediately upon meeting women, almost all men, are plotting on how to get in your pants! “They can’t help it,” he says, because they naturally think about sex way too many times in one day. Now, I’m usually cautious to make generalizations about gender… that stuff pisses people off. But, as you can imagine, I was intrigued and k

A Hallmark Holiday- with Nail Polish

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I am single and February 14th is two days away. Being that these are my circumstances, I’m sure many of you are expecting me to blog about how us singles are excluded and dejected on February 14th. Well that’s not going to happen. I, in no way, feel compelled to throw myself a pity-party-parade. I am single by choice, because I do not want to be in a relationship that I don’t believe whole-heartedly in. I am single because I believe that you need to get yourself together and figure yourself out before you can share it with anyone else. I am single because “cute and fun” are no longer deciding factors of what makes a good relationship. I don’t feel sorry for myself to admit that. I have bigger concerns than crying about how terribly sad it is to be alone on a “couples holiday”. Besides… I’m not alone ;) and this isn’t a couple’s holiday. Valentine’s Day, what I fondly referred to in my last entry, is a “Woman’s Holiday.” There is nothing coupled, shared or equal about it. At

Growing Up

Irony is a funny thing– I say this in contemplation of one specific reference: Sometimes it’s the people that we’ve held onto the longest, that, when were ready; are the easiest to let go. Whether its relationships or friendships. Maybe it’s because while we held tight to that person, what we were really holding, was our idea of them. I say “idea” because of the pesky irony… The irony, that even though we may see good and beautiful qualities in another person, they may never see it in themselves. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that they love themselves. This problem successfully masks itself while growing up. By the time your 20something, some people are mature, some immature. Some people have grow-up, some are on their way, and some are destined to be life-long Toys R’ Us kids. We are all on our own path, struggling to find our own way. What is difficult to understand, is that just because we start off at the same place, doesn’t mean we end up any where near the same pla

The ONE

I sat on the train today commuting into the city and among all of the people rushing to work I noticed an elderly couple. They boarded the train, couldn’t find seats together and each sat on the end of the row; allowing the aisle to separate them. As the train moved away from the station, the man reached out over the aisle and grabbed the woman’s hand. They only held hands for about a minute, then he smiled at her and let her hand go. It wasn’t anything monumental, just a gesture, and it got me thinking…. If they were young, I would have thought about how naïve they were. Its puppy love… If they were my age, I would have thought about how cheesy they were. Ugh it’s the morning commute for God’s sake... But because they were in their 70’s, I thought about how damn cute they were. It made me think that maybe all the Hallmark bullshit about “Love” may not be a marking ploy just to sell overprices greeting cards after all. I have wanted to blog about Love before but I just couldn’t get mo