Posts

Follow your Heart

Image
  I had just completed my first year of law school and I was clerking for a judge during my “Summer 1” (as the law students call it) .   I should have been enjoying my time off from class but I didn’t feel happy.   At lunchtime, I should have been rubbing elbows with the higher ups, networking and learning the politics of the courthouse.   Instead, I sat in the giant window in the Judges Chambers with my salad, scribbling away furiously in a pink legal pad.   I knew at Christmas of that year that I wasn’t happy in law school, but I kept pushing to make it fit.   Instead of gloating about the coveted clerkship I was privileged to obtain, I was writing, trying to organize my feelings on returning to law school for a second year. Whenever I come to a crossroads in my life, I like to make a list of pro’s and con’s. Sounds kind of silly, that a list could help me make decisions, but my gut seemed to be confused and as hard as I looked for Jiminy Cricket, he didn’t appear to be anywher

Show, Don’t Tell

Image
“A frail grasp on the big picture…” Now what the hell does that mean??  First time I heard this particular group of words strung together was in song by the band, The Eagles.      The song talks about the local bar… Good ol' boys down at the bar Peanuts and politics They think they know it all About relationships… You don't have the slightest notion what long-term love is all about All your romantic liaisons don't deal with eternal questions like: "Who left the cap off the” freaking” toothpaste?" "Whose turn to take the garbage out?" And about morals…. All our troubles will be resolved We hold faith above all Unless there's money or sex involved This song is brutally honest and makes complete sense.  I’ll tell you why… I am currently teaching writing to college students at the local Community College.  It’s English 100 and English 112.  I found that in the past few weeks I’ve been stressing to my students a very old adage in w

Hallmark Has A Point?

Image
“I’m sorry for your loss…”   It’s what you’re supposed to say.  But even as the words left my lips and resonated in my brain, I thought about how empty, generic and half hearted they seemed.  As I listened to his voice on the voicemail I rehearsed saying it, but each time it sounded wrong.  I wanted a Hallmark zinger; something short, sweet and powerful. At this point even if it rhymed and skimmed the surface of cheesy, I thought that it would have been better than “ I’m sorry for your loss.” This was a person I spent my childhood summers beside.  He was someone I’ve known for almost two decades and I felt like the words “I’m sorry for your loss” were desensitizing his situation. This is when I really needed Hallmark, but instead was left to my own devices.  Suddenly the voicemail beeped indicating for me to speak... “ Hey… it’s me .” I sounded too chipper; I tried to adjust my tone.  “ I heard about your dad …” Shit, now I sounded too depressing, I need to fix that {Long Pause} “ I

Forget “It” & The Ground Hog & Try To Balance

Image
“ I want it all !” Those four words are engrained in the foundation of the American Dream.  Anyone can have it (whatever “it” is) as long as their willing to work for it.  So, we 20somethings, trudge through school in hopes of finding “it”.  We secure a job in able to work at achieving “it.”  We focus on “it” and we make it our goal, our passion, our dream.   The irony is, that those people who seem most “together,” the ones that are certain they’re going to find “it”, can end up the most lost.  Those people who appear to know the program, the ones that are “on the right track” from the start… they are the ones who risk being farthest from “it.”   I can make this general statement with confidence because I was one of those people.   Smart, driven, confident and determined—all of which sounds good on paper, but can actually be a lethal combination.   When you have these qualities and you chose to focus on the wrong thing; or if you find yourself pursuing the wrong “it”, well then you

Tech-No-kidology

Image
Holy Hiatus! With Christmas and New Years falling on the weekend this year, I just couldn’t get my life together enough to sit down and blog… which I think is okay, because you readers probably couldn’t get your lives together to sit down and read either… We’re even! So during this hiatus, winter decided to rear its ugly head. Here in the Northeast we didn’t have a white Christmas, we had a white day-after Christmas. Whether you like snow or not, many Holiday/Christmas songs of a “ White Christmas, ” end up making most people long for it, even if they don’t particularly like snow. In short, had the storm arrived just 12 hours earlier, it could have arrived to open arms… but truthfully, instead, it was greeted with a groan. I guess at some point, snowstorms have had to stop being personally offended by the adult – hatred toward them. “We have to get to work”  “We have to reschedule everything now”  “I don’t want to shovel”  “Oh No, Look at the roads!”  Whether we like it

Damn Old People vs. Neotony

Image
I have always loved “colorful” words. When I was a child, I called big words or rare words “foo-foo” words. You see, my love affair with words started very early on. I was the youngest in my family and running after my brother and sister, screaming, “wait for me” in every aspect possible. So as I struggled to keep up and be taken seriously, I looked to language to help me. I knew that words and correct phrases could aid me in communicating and getting my point across; but even more, these “foo-foo” words made me sound like a “real big kid.” So here is a true “big-kid” “foo-foo” word: Neotony—Pronounced ( Knee-ot-Knee ) It is a 50-cent adjective for describing someone. Literally defined as “the retention of childlike attributes in adulthood.” Decoded: it means to be youthful-minded . Now, neotony is a funny thing. It needs to be balanced. For some people the idea of neotony is laid on too thick. They have retained too many childlike attributes and carried only those attributes

Thanks-Christmas? What about Thanksgiving?

Image
If you read last week’s blog, you understand that it wasn’t an easy week for me. If you didn’t read last week’s blog, I’m not going to re-hash it, but what I will say is this—losing a pet is hard.   So, when life dishes out something that is difficult, depressing or tiresome, I think we are entitled to a break. We are allowed to reward ourselves for surviving and getting through a particularly hard time. The problem is that life isn’t always fair. Just because you’ve made it through something hard doesn’t mean it will be offset by something wonderful. The Yin and Yang of the universe are not in perfect harmony. There is the “unknown” that we must factor in.   Dare I say it, but sometimes when things are hard, it only means more “hard” is right behind it. This is why I believe that when life offers a “break in the action,” even if it’s just a few hours, we should grab onto it with both hands. During this proverbial “break,” I think we are entitled to something nice.   In 2010, du

Whether the Weather Whispers a Reminder

Image
It was time. As long as I tried to put it off, as much as I pretended it wasn’t happening, as much as I hoped to ignore it… It was time. This week, in Northeastern America, those of us holding tight to grips of summer had to let go. We were forced to do the dreaded “switch.”  Packing up beloved sun dresses made of paper thin material that sways in the wind and replaced them with warm, fuzzy sweaters that will attempt to keep our body heat IN and the frigid cold OUT . We swapped open toed sandals for stark heavy boots. The last days of Indian summer ended and officially fall is here. Every year at this time of year, I gripe about the change in season, temperature and weather, but this year I noticed something different. No I’m not talking global warming or anything like that, the difference I noticed this year was not environmental, it was perspective provided, through care of my 15-month-old nephew. Isn’t it weird that we say months for the first few years of life, maybe it’s b